Totes Rando

Shit, piss, cocksucker,
My mother is a mother fucker.

My Mother Fucking Mother

Labia, labia, get a scabia,
On the planet of tit fucking mania.
Penis in, and penis out
Tell Ben Franklin not to tout that Gout.
Asshole lickers, fruit pickers
Smother my car with bumper stickers.
Obama for President, Obama for Resident
Like black Jesus, Obama’s Heaven-sent!
Got no reasons, got no rhymes,
I’m too busy boning bitches in their hymens.

Glockenspiel, Glocken-shlong,
Girls Gone Wild, their boobs sing a song.

My Mother’s Mother Fucking Glockenspiel

Pee Pee, Wee Wee, Bum Bums too,
My bum bum’s got the gumshoe blues.
It’s a detective you see, a detective you know,
Seeking sexual orifices wherever it goes!

Bum Bum with Gumshoe Blues

Maaasstuurrrrbaaaation.
Maaassstuuurrrbaaation.
Masturbate so hard my hand fell off, then my arm fell off, then I broke my neck,
Then I used my left hand, said “What the heck.”
Cunnilingus, cunnilungus, don’t lick that pussy if it’s got a fungus.
Ask Charles Mingus, that’s what he’ll suggest.
Whores, sluts, and pumpkin pies,
Thanksgiving thanks for jizz in your eye!

EXPLANATION: We here at Totes Rando recently discovered that we are the number 5 result if you Google “I like making my boyfriend lick my virginia”. Don’t ask how we found that out, what’s important is that we know. LTGG wrote this in the hopes of getting our site into the results of similarly hilarious search queries.