Totes Rando

Hey it’s me, Dean Cain, remember me? The adventures of Lois & Clark?  From the 90s? I was Superman!  Anyways I wanna start off by saying that I’m definitely NOT jealous of Mario Lopez.  I just don’t really know where he gets off stealing my niche.  That’s right, MY niche. I may not know how it’s pronounced but I know what it means: a position particularly well suited to the person who occupies it.  And MY niche is “hunky Latin-ish not especially good but passable television actor/personality”.

It just doesn’t really make sense.  AC Slater?  “Saved by the Bell” was so done and gone!  Then his D-list ass goes on “Dancing with the Stars” and comes out a real celebrity!  He’s in all the tabloids!

He’s dating Eva Longoria?!? What the fuck!  I should be dating Eva Longoria!  We both were costars with Teri Hatcher, that should have been MY in.

Like I said, I’m not jealous of Mario Lopez, I can even give him some props, watch:  I think he’s got great lats, abs, those dimples, he’s fuckin workin’ it!  It’s just that I was all set up to be where he is. . .  Fuck Mario Lopez!  Fuck those perfect abs.  I’m the hunky Latin-ish not especially good but passable television actor/personality you should see when you leaf through an “Us” magazine or watch a crappy Entertainment Tonight package.

Let’s be serious for a second, who’s more handsome? Obviously Dean Cain is.  I have to go now, this isn’t the only fucking blog I write for.