Let’s Take A Quick Break From Not Talking About Politics!
I know I’m about a week late to this party, but I don’t have much time off from insufflating benzodiazepines working to get involved in politics. There are few moments of respite for me, but this little story caught my eye. It seems that this public option health care proposal has a few enemies! There have been many, many allegations about what a horrible demon country it will turn us into, but now that it has actually been written and released, its opponents have turned to criticizing how big it is.
They literally have nothing better to throw at this bill than the fact that it is large, heavy, and has lots of pages. Anywhere between 1,980 and 2,050 pages. Kind of sounds like a lot! I mean, you would think that a legal document that covers every minor detail on how to reform a $2.5 trillion industry would be kind of big, but 2,000 pages! That is more pages than the Bible. “The health care bill is trying to replace the Bible, America. We must stop it.”
Voted Best Book to Curl Up With, 1998
Anyway, for comparison’s sake, let’s flash back to 1998. A nation is in turmoil. Kenneth Starr’s report to Congress on how Bill Clinton got a blowjob that one time is a national best seller. That report was 482 pages, nearly 25% of the size of the bill that intends to change a $2.5 trillion industry. Such a huge bill, that bill! Between 9 and 12 inches tall depending on the news source! We better get rid of it, because no one reads that many pages anymore. You come back to me with a health care reform bill that will fit in a Facebook status update and we’ll talk. Maybe.*
As the late. great Steven McCroskey once said, “Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit sniffin’ glue!” Seriously, America. Get it together.
*Sean Hannity insists that if it can’t fit into 30 pages, then it is “bureaucratic garbage”. Ironically, the list of conditions and rules that pertain to my shitty, individual health plan is 114 pages long.